that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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