two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
