This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
