Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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