I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
