She is in my trunk
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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