I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
