i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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