Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
