was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
