if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
