I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize