Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
