We're like a lot better than the average bears
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We have started to decorate penises.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
