I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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