There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
