She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
