It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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