It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You work out of a Hotel?
where am i from again
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
