Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he puts the penis in happiness.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
