i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The uberlube is also flammable
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
