So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
