Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
