I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Quick, to the slutcave!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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