My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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