Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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