He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
