Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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