i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
wow bdsm is so cute
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
