3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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