office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I am spending my child support on dildos
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
