Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize