Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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