...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
