Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
