one two three fourrrrnication!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
