Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
