my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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