You made me cry and you don't even care
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
