I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
