This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
