i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
