like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
