So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
