Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
