I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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