The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
