? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
