bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
