good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
