weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
