I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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