all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
