Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
